Catharine's Past Two Years

Since I am writing the blog, my point of view is up front here. And since what happened to me seems to have change all our lives, perhaps it is not inappropriate.

In November 2008 I was diagnosed with cancer - a gastrointestinal stromal tumor. It is apparently a rare kind of cancer. Since there seemed to be one tumor initially, and that quite large, the decision was made to remove it surgically. It was only after surgery that the nature of the tumor became clear. It was a shock when I saw the oncologist for the first time, because CANCER is such a dreaded word. I have believed for a long time, though, that Romans 8:28 is true in my life:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

So, this diagnosis did not scare me or Chris, especially since the doctor had good news - the tumor was removed, the cancer was under control, and I could live for another 10 or 15 years. I recovered fairly quickly from the surgery and after 8 months was taken off the chemo medication. We thanked the Lord for a quick recovery.

There was a moment while I was in hospital that was significant, I think. I was very weak after the surgical procedure, and I remember lying in my bed in the intensive care unit, with blood flowing to my veins since my blood pressure was so low. I had for years wondered about the process of dying. My dad had gone off to heaven very easily, I always thought. He sat down in his chair one afternoon and said he was tired. He fell asleep and never woke up. The last thing he wrote in his journal was a verse from the Psalms: God lives in the praises of His people. What a wonderful way to leave the earth and join Jesus.

I want above all else to get to heaven and meet Jesus face to face. I have lived my life for Him since I can remember. How glorious to have Him take my hand and say, "Welcome, good and faithful servant."

So, as I lay there, I said to the Lord that I was ready to leave this earth and meet Him in heaven. I had made my peace with Him. Romans 8:1 is clear and I had taken it as part of the foundation of my life, years ago.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

I took a deep breath and thought of Jesus on the cross, breathing out His last breath and asking the Father to take charge of His spirit. And then I did it - I said, "Please take my spirit, Father," and I blew out this large breath.

And I had to breathe in again, because the Father did not take my spirit.

I had to laugh a little, but I have to confess to some disappointment. I SO wanted to go to heaven. But God sent me a clear message - the time is not yet. I still have something to do for Him in the world. I have been contemplating what that means ever since. Oh, if you have any suggestions, let me know.

So far so good.

In December 2009 I went to Chicago with Christelle and the Hillcrest High School Band. It was a big deal for her, for the Wind Ensemble were invited to play at the Midwest Clinic. This is an annual international Band and Orchestra Directors clinic. Bands and orchestras have to audition to play there and our kids played with highly acclaimed bands such as th United States Coast Guard Band. You can see two videos from that performance here. I was not feeling well - creeping fatigue and lower abdominal pain.

From there we went to Lydia and Joel's house for Christmas. Things went downhill from there. I started feeling very tired, and I was experiencing severe abdominal pain. Chris and I tracked down Dr. Brian Olivier, who was our family physician when we lived in Colorado Springs. Apart from being a really good doctor, he is also a beloved Christian brother and a dear friend. I trusted him. On his recommendation I went to the emergency room. They took a CT scan and saw an unidentifiable mass in my lower abdomen, and another where the original tumor had been. Dr. Olivier recommended that I get home immediately to my medical care team.

That's what we did, and Chris upgraded our airplane seats to first class - an excellent way to use some of his frequent flyer miles. We got home, I went into hospital the next day, and life changed in the blink of an eye.